an addition to my sketch

Even in my dreams I can not escape. I dream of being in the bar where everyone is dancing together except for me, and its set to faux 80's dance music. Even my subconscious thinks I'm a loser!

Friends with benefits

I'd like a friend that came with benefits, like a dental plan. That way you could fill a cavity and get a cavity filled at the same time.

White People Sports

I saw some white kids in a big circle today opassing something around. Thy were either playing a big game of hacky sack or a small game of frisbee.

Greetings

Picture this, you are walking and you see someone you know. You say hi, they say hi, you both go on your merry way.

Unfortunately, it does not always go that smoothly. Sometimes you are about to say hi, but then the other person busts out with a "how are you"? Now what do you do? You already have that hi loaded up so you have to retract that, then you have to say how you are. The problem is that we are both busy people and we are both going some where. Do you just tell him how you are and walk on by, do you stop in your tracks and ask, or do you keep going and yell the same question back.

I never thought greetings would turn into some sort of prisoner's dilemma.

Ryan Vaughan found dead in bathroom

This morning Ryan Vaughan was found dead in his bathroom. Sources say he died in a horrible hair trimming accident. The razor that Vaughan had used and abused for so many years finally turned against him. Sources close to Vaughan say he was trying to give himself a Fu Manchu when the razor went crazy and shot him. The razor blade then turned the gun on itself and committed suicide. A Gillete spokesman said that it was a dark day for the company and sent condolences to the Vaughan family. We spoke to the Vaughan family today and the only statement they had was "we're only using electric from now on."

Movie blurbs that I didn't get to in class.

A single robot in a dystopic future on a barren world. A starkly moving film about the environment and how crass consumerism effects it. A moving piece about unrequited love and feelings of loneliness. A soulless automaton that rediscovers the humanity in all of us. Come see the art house darling Wall-E.

A young girl uses her vivid imagination to escape reality around her. Watch as she goes on a quest to save her baby brother from the evil dream demons. She also must watch out for her evil stepfather or he could ruin all her fun. Come see the wonderful chldren's movie, Pan's Labyrinth!

Your beverage makes you look like a pussy.

I have a confession to make. I like drinks that are often labeled "girlie" or "colorful" or "homosexual". My drinks of choice have more in common with the colors of the rainbow than the colors of shit. My male friends wonder what is wrong with me and say that my drink choice will scare the women folk away from me. The women folk laugh at my red-tinged drink. My friends ask me why I don't drink rum and coke or jack and coke, or beer for that matter. Well I don't really care for beer, or whiskey, or soda for that matter. I really don't understand the big difference between my vodka cranberry and their Jack and Coke. I mean both liquors are the same proof and both of the mixers are essentially sugar water. One is fizzy and one is red. I want to go back in time to when the decision was made that when it comes to drinks anything that is not colored shit brown is gay. Meanwhile I'm going to go back to sipping my Cosmopolitan.