Your beverage makes you look like a pussy.

I have a confession to make. I like drinks that are often labeled "girlie" or "colorful" or "homosexual". My drinks of choice have more in common with the colors of the rainbow than the colors of shit. My male friends wonder what is wrong with me and say that my drink choice will scare the women folk away from me. The women folk laugh at my red-tinged drink. My friends ask me why I don't drink rum and coke or jack and coke, or beer for that matter. Well I don't really care for beer, or whiskey, or soda for that matter. I really don't understand the big difference between my vodka cranberry and their Jack and Coke. I mean both liquors are the same proof and both of the mixers are essentially sugar water. One is fizzy and one is red. I want to go back in time to when the decision was made that when it comes to drinks anything that is not colored shit brown is gay. Meanwhile I'm going to go back to sipping my Cosmopolitan.